Maybe I'm A Cat

In discussing the potential for camouflage, it has been said, "On the Internet, nobody knows if you're a cat." Another quote, perhaps more telling, goes, "On the Internet, nobody knows if you're a dog. Everybody knows if you're a jackass."

That latter quote illustrates an important truth: if you do a lot of writing, it is impossible to hide your essential self. Oh, you can protect your privacy and keep your secrets but your writing will reveal the kind of person you are, sooner or later. That's why I've never been afraid to meet in person the people with whom I've formed friendships on the Internet.

Those of us fortunate enough to have had that experience can find amusement in the alarms of those who think physical contact with those you've met in cyberspace is as dangerous as answering a Lonely Hearts ad. Surely you will end up victimized in one way or another. I tell folks they only have to read the newspapers to learn about the victims who met their predators in all the proper ways, as approved by society. Sometimes I think there is more danger in the "acceptable" forms of acquaintance than there could ever be in a web-based relationship.

That's because we usually have, to one degree or another, a public personality and a private personality. For some people, what you see is pretty much what you get. For others there is a vast difference between the two selves and you have no way of discerning that difference until it's too late. Ask any battered or betrayed spouse or date rape victim.

How is a cyberspace relationship different? Depends on the venue, I think. The Internet is no different than Real Life simply because it's powered by Real People. You have the whole range of human nature to deal with and you have to be as discerning online as off. The thing is, folks don't always realize how much of themselves they are revealing by the words they use to express themselves. Perhaps because they feel a certain safety in the apparent anonymity of the Internet, they say things they would not say when face-to-face with others. They turn it all loose and, boyhowdy, it can come back to bite you.

I was fortunate in that I learned early about mailing list groups. Whatever subject interests you, somewhere there is a mailing list consisting of other folks with the same interests. Not all such groups will be a comfortable fit for you but once you find one with whom you can feel a genuine rapport, you stick with it. Over years of nearly daily conversations, there is no way in bloody blue hell you won't know the important essentials of the people with whom you've shared your time -- nor can they help but know you in the same way.

Because that genuinely deep foundation has already been laid, meeting such friends "in the flesh" is comfortable and natural. There is no initial awkwardness because you're long past that stage. There is not even any concern about your appearance. The friendship has already been formed without the baggage of subconscious bias and we all know that the faces of those we care about are always pleasing to the eye.

What happens, is, you can relax with your cyber-friend and simply be who you are, with no facade to maintain, because who you are has already been accepted "as is." Just as you have accepted the other person without tiresome qualifications. Given the opportunity, cyber-friends become part of your extended family, every bit as important to the richness of your life as those you count dear in your immediate "real life" surroundings.

Yikes! It's almost midnight and if I don't post this, I won't be able to notify anyone about tomorrow's post because it will be tomorrow today and I'm only allowed one notify per 24-hour period. Shazaaam!

Okay. Now that I've managed to squeak the notify in just before the midnight hour, I want to add the note that the photo came from the Twitter website. Thanks, Twitter!