My New Favorite Cookbook

 

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Oh verily I say unto you (quietly so I don't corrupt the children) various vile and vexatious vociferations. That's uptown wiffling for downtown cussing. Yea though I walk through the valley of wild cyber children (who refuse to play well together no matter how I beggeth them), I shall fear not for my sanity for my sanity did deserteth me the day I signed on to the World Wide Web.

What brought on this tantrum, you ask? You will have noticed, of course, the decor has changed again. I really liked the looks of the last design but it simply would not do some of the things I wanted it to do and so I had to show it the door. Don't get too used to this look, either. It's strictly a temporary marriage of convenience, just until I find my own true love, the one who will agree to play nicely and not stimulate my potty mouth. (sigh)

But never mind all that silliness. What I really wanted to tell you about was a fabulous book that fell into my hot little hands today. It's a cookbook. But it's more than a cookbook. Way more. Right off the top, though, it's got to be one of the prettiest cookbooks I've ever owned. Front cover to back and every single page between is a loving work of art and almost every page showcases gorgeous photos taken by the author.

I'll have to apologize for the quality of my photos. I'm afraid I dillydallied too long and the lighting was lousy. It's no biggie but I'd rather do the lady the justice she deserves. Anyhoo, you may be familiar with Ree Drummond from her amazing web site, Pioneer Woman Cooks. (See link in sidebar.) For the food porn alone I would enjoy this woman but she's a whole lot more than just a pretty cook. In fact, I just took the trouble to look up the spelling for renaissance because that's what she is; a renaissance woman. Well, gee. She home schools her kids, feeds a bunch of hard-working cowboys and regularly updates a website with so many features it's practically a full-time job all by itself. She's a genuinely good photographer (and gives tips on her web site), a gifted writer and is smarter than the average bear. Besides which, she has a terrific sense of humor and absolutely refuses to take herself seriously. I like her so much, I don't have the heart to slap the gravy out of her.

I don't know how many recipes there are (except there are lots) but there are 248 pages in the book. Above is a sample of her photo tutorial style of presenting a recipe. Fans of her web site will recognize some of the offerings but there are plenty of new ones, just for the book. I would rate this as the best cookbook in a coon's age if the recipes were all there was to it. But, as I said, it's much more.

 Interspersed between all the glorious food pages are photos of people and cattle and horses and dogs -- oh, wait until you meet Charlie! He's just the handsomest Basset hound you ever did see. There are funny stories and poignant vignettes. It's not exactly like reading a novel. It's more like a rollicking visit with a best friend. You can't help but feel good for having the visit. And wait until you see how good you feel when you follow some of her recipes. Listen, this woman is armed with butter and she's not afraid to use it!

I put a link at the top of the sidebar if you'd like to whip over to Amazon and read more about the book. Or scroll down to the link for her web site and browse around at her place. Get a feel for what she does. If you like what you see there, I can pretty much guarantee you'll like the book as well. Heck, even if you don't cook, you'll like the book. But I'm warning you -- it'll make you hungry.

All Wrapped Up

I love this photo. There's just something about widdle bunnies, isn't there? Even when they're happily devouring your garden, they're cute about it. In any case, I hauled this little guy into service because I want to express applause for a recipe I got out of Rosie Daley's book, "In The Kitchen With Rosie," which I featured yesterday.

First, I need to tell you this is a most excellent recipe book. Full of chatty stuff and good tips, all as bonus items behind some of the most dynamite healthy recipes you'll find. What's neat to note is that the book was published back in 1994 -- and it isn't even a minute out of date. I can hardly wait to try some of her other goodies but I am sufficiently stuffed at the moment to be willing to wait.

Being in the mood for wraps -- which I think is just a yuppie name for a type of sandwich most often made with tortillas -- I scored a package of flour tortillas at the market today. Unfortunately, there was only one package left and it was of those monster 12-inch fellers and that is not a resealable bag! Good thing I have plenty of duct tape.

Anyway, I ended up making two of those big boys -- the tortilla wraps, I mean. One is waiting in the refrigerator for later nom, nom, nomming. Half of the other is covered and standing in the wings for my usual midnight snack. The missing half is currently distending my happy tummy. And for those of you who are being careful about what you eat, this wrap stuff is so healthy it ought to be criminal. Consider: one 12" flour tortilla -- 360 calories. Divide that by 2 because I wimped out at the halfway mark so -- 180 calories.

Okay, I don't have a clue about the calorie count of what I put inside the wraps but I think it was probably quite reasonable -- one slice of smoked turkey, half of a caramelized Walla Walla onion (no sugar to caramelize it, just patient, slow cooking of thinly sliced onion rings over medium heat), several thin slices of a vine-ripened tomato, half of a thinly sliced small zucchini that has been sauteed to tenderness in a bare teaspoon of olive oil and seasoned with Mrs. Dash chipotle seasoning and a final layer of shredded colby jack cheese.

Okay, the cheese probably has as many calories as everything else put together but you can leave that out and still have a fantastic sandwich. But there is one other item that puts this concoction over the top -- and that's what I got from Rosie. (I hope I'm using only a respectful amount from the book and not breaking copyright laws. What they call a reasonable quote, I guess.) Anyway, this is the dip she serves with artichokes and she says there's only 63 calories per serving, including the 'choke (recipe serves 4).

Rosie Daley's Yogurt Mustard

1/2 cup plain nonfat yogurt
1 teaspoon Dijon-style mustard
1/8 teaspoon lemon pepper
1 teaspoon red wine vinegar
2 tablespoons minced shallot (1 small shallot)

Rosie suggested running the ingredients through the blender until smooth but I just stirred everything a bit with a spoon and put it in the refrigerator until I was ready to use it. Also, I didn't have any lemon pepper so I crumbled in one of my little chipotle cubes, which is supposed to equal one chipotle pepper. Didn't have a shallot either but 2 tablespoons of dried onion flakes plumped up just fine by the time I hauled the dip out for action.

What I did was slather some of it in the middle of the tortilla before laying down the slice of smoked turkey. Then, after everything else was stacked up, I globbed a bit more on as dressing and rolled the whole conglomeration up nice and neat. The finished wrap looked like a burrito on steroids, all bulked up and ready to kick sand in somebody's face.

I cannot TELL you what an amazing difference that sauce makes in the sandwich. If I'd had any left over after building the two wraps, I'd have used it for dip while eating them. Note to self: double Yogurt Mustard recipe next time. Correction: triple recipe next time.

I urge you to try this. It's astonishingly delicious, quick and easy and I'm thinking it's incredibly versatile. Imagine all the things you could dip in it -- without guilt. Now that's worth a serious round of clappity-clappity.

Merciless Bitch In Charge

Taken through a rain-blotched window, this is a view of what is left of that earlier magnificent fall display of "sunshine on a stick." Occasional mild winds have relentlessly harvested most of the leaves but the storm that is currently roaring and pounding about us seems determined to sweep away what's left. It's hard to tell in a still photo, of course, but the horizontal aspect of the leaves above is due entirely to wind gusts.

It's been like this since the wee hours, with the wind growing strong enough to wake me about 6 am. It's been rompin' and stompin' out there with increasing vigor all morning, averaging a fairly steady blow in the 20-some mph range, with gusts in the 30s and an occasional whoosher coming in at around 50 mph. With rain. (insert smile)

Perfect day to be snuggled in with a pot of coffee and a steady rhythm of thousand-word patches on the computer. That NaNoWriMo thing. I got a little behind over the last 3 days, partly because of floundering with content and direction, partly because I got sidetracked by making the mistake of starting a Christopher Moore book and being absolutely unable to put it down until it was finished.

Have you discovered Christopher Moore yet? What a delicious imagination the man has. Not to mention the kind of over-the-top humor I adore. He's in the same exalted ballpark as the likes of Douglas Adams or Carl Hiaasen or Dave Barry or Mel Brooks or -- you get the idea -- but he's not like any of them. He is definitely his own unique self and I say, "Hooray!"

One reviewer commented Moore ought to get a National Book Award on his titles alone. Looking at a list of his books, I can grin and agree. Practical Demonkeeping. The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. Island of the Sequined Love Nun. Fluke: or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings.

Those are just some of the titles. I've read the first one and the last one -- and the one that helped derail my NaNoWriMo writing schedule -- Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. In both Fluke and Lamb Moore adds a section at the end of the stories to explain a bit about "the making of" and gives you a pretty good idea about where facts leave off and his fertile imagination moves in. This is a Good Thang because some of the facts are fairly hard to believe. I had to do some serious Googling before I'd accept certain aspects of Blue Whale anatomy. Did you know a Blue Whale's tongue is a big as a flippin' ellyphunt? My stars and garters!

I would urge you to run -- don't mess around with walking -- to your nearest library and demand to see their Christopher Moore copies and checking out all you can carry away. I can tell you that each of those I've already read are inherently different from each other and you get a different reaction from each. All reactions have in common -- at least in my case -- a sense of supreme satisfaction.

Right now I have Lust Lizard on the deck, waiting for my undivided attention. I am firmly insisting on extreme self-discipline here. That book is my carrot. I am not allowed to read it until I have caught up with my NaNoWriMo word count and that's final. There will be no negotiation on this point. I am allowed to slip in a See's chocolate at the end of each thousand-word stint but no more Christopher Moore until I'm back on schedule. Signed, Merciless Bitch In Charge.

Dayum! I can't believe I'm that mean to myself.

Singing Praises

Sometimes you run into something so neat, you just have to stop and sing praises -- even if you sound sort of funny. I'll try to keep the volume down because I have to sing the praises of two neat things tonight. Bear with me.

The first neat thing, some of you already know about. Thanks to all your helpful suggestions and thanks to Glo, who provided the final push, I signed up with Gmail earlier this evening. One of the reasons I'm late posting tonight is because I've been having so much fun getting acquainted with all the cool stuff Google has put into its email program.

Okay, I haven't had time to figure it ALL out yet. But I'm working on it.

The other neat thing took up the better part of my day and is destined to keep me entertained and informed for a lot more days in the future. I'm sure you've heard of Project Gutenberg. Some of you may use its services already. I've only just begun to use them myself because, until today, I didn't realize they had an index. Don't know how I missed it before but I must have. In any case, the index is there -- and it's very impressive!

The thing is, Project Gutenberg has been steadily amassing an enormous library consisting of literature and music that is no longer under copyright. What that means to us is, we can freely read (or listen) online or we can freely download to our own computers. I think most all the written material can be downloaded in plain text. Some can be downloaded as html. Some are in the form of audio files. And more.

What have they got? It would be easier to tell you what they don't have. There seems to be a little bit of everything there. Fiction. Nonfiction. Books. Poetry. How-To. Text books. Diaries. Speeches and songs. There are a whole series of Punch magazines from the 1800s. But there are plenty of selections from more recent years, too. At least well into the '50s.

The index is set up so you scroll through authors in alphabetical order. I skimmed through the A-section. Started moving slower in the B-section and downloaded two choices. Then I started making a list of authors I wanted to revisit after further exploration through the alphabet. I'm not going to run out any time soon!

The first book I downloaded was a hefty tome titled "The Book of Household Management" by Mrs. Isabella Beeton. I can hear you gasp in disbelief, "Why?" Well, because it was first published in a bound edition in 1861, having been published in 24 monthly installments the two years previous. That means it's a rather large window on another time, with its own unique customs and styles and attitudes. Mrs. Beeton covers the subject with encyclopedic thoroughness and impeccable English. She even tells us what was the proper pay scale for the servants (!!), both with or without livery and with or without allowance made for tea, sugar and beer. She must have a kajillion recipes listed, each carefully detailed with preparation time, what constitutes the season, how many it will serve and how much it costs to make.

Oh yeah. I'm gonna have fun with that one.

The other download is far less cumbersome but no less informative. "The Complete Book of Cheese" by Robert Carlton Brown was published in 1955 and can be downloaded in html, which lets you enjoy the artwork. Mr. Brown not only shares a tremendous amount of lore about cheese, he does it with such wit and charm, you keep finding yourself sitting there with a big silly grin on your face. The chapter about Rarebit, "Sixty-five Sizzling Rabbits," would be worth the price of admission even if you were paying for the book.

But don't take my word for it. You can read any of these selections online if you wish. I skim just enough to see if it's something I want to download, then I haul it in for serious reading later. My problem is going to be pacing myself. Good grief, there is a list that looks as though it includes everything written by Edgar Rice Burroughs, for cryin' out loud. And several by Sir Richard Francis Burton.

There seems to be a most remarkable range from "The Sonnets, Triumphs, and Other Poems of Petrarch" to John Campbell's "Islands of Space." There is classic poetry, presidential speeches and even juicy little items like "The Water Supply of the El Paso and Southwestern Railway from Carrizozo to Santa Rosa, N. Mex. American Society of Civil Engineers: Transactions, No. 1170." Be still my heart.

I haven't begun to explore in earnest but already it seems to me the people who put the wheels on this fantastic project are going a long way toward making up for the bad karma generated when the Library of Alexandria was burned. We're talking serious Good Karma, folks. Oh. So many books. So little time.

Cabbages and Cobens

Something that has always fascinated me is the way cabbage coils and ruffles itself into the most amazing convoluted contortions as it grows. While preparing some red cabbage for drying, I think I spent more time just gazing at the patterns of the slices than I did with getting them ready.

This was supposed to be yesterday's post, you understand. That it turns out to be today's offering is all Harlan's fault.

Harlan Coben, that is. I hope you've had a chance to read his work. If not, I hope you find something he's written real soon because it will be a treat. The man does write a dandy story, indeed he does.

I got caught up in his Just One Look, something I'd read previously but enjoyed just as thoroughly the second time through. Before I knew it, the book was finished and so was Saturday. Too late for a blog post. Ah well.

The thing about Coben isn't just that he knows how to plot and pace a rockin' good yarn, he populates it with authentic folks who pique your interest, whether they're the Good Guys or the Villains. Not only that, he has that enviable talent for being able to mix heart-thudding suspense with wry humor in just the right balance. And here's a most excellent skill -- Coben knows how to feed the reader just the right amount of information, a little at a time. Enough to both illuminate and raise more questions, requiring you to turn pages to find more illumination.

You know how different public figures appeal to you (or not) in different ways? You would like to meet this person for one reason, that person for another. Coben strikes me as someone I'd love to meet and a big part of the lure is his sense of humor. It can be wickedly funny but never cruel. That's how I know Coben is a nice guy. Well, okay -- that and the fact that he can't help but reveal his nice-guyness in his writing. And I just figure he'd be fun to hang with because you could laugh your ass off without hurting or humiliating anybody.

And maybe if I hung out with him long enough, I could figure out how he does that twist thing he does so well. You know -- you're reading along in one direction, figuring stuff out and, boom! He gives the plot a twist. Whoa! Okay, now we're going in another direction and we're just starting to get that figured out when, blam! Another twist. And he keeps it up, cackling with unrepentant glee, until you're begging, "Stop, Myron! Just stop!" but you don't want him to stop because you're having too much fun and you can't believe he just twisted you yet again ...

It's a bit like when the Walrus and the Carpenter invited the oysters for a stroll along the beach and the Walrus said, "The time has come to talk of many things: of shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings." And you are amazed at what a learned fellow that old Walrus is -- until you realize, with the twisted climax, he and the Carpenter have gobbled up all those naive young oysters.

So I can flash the cabbage shot at you all day long but if you want a good oyster feed, hang out with King Coben. You'll find him here, at his official web site.

History With Attitude

This book may not be of interest to Coffee Mates who live elsewhere on our globe but it's a dandy if you like real history that reads very much like a thriller. Too bad we didn't have text books like this in school.

Hampton Sides has done a remarkable job here, putting together people, places and events in a way that clarifies a whole section of our history like never before. He seems to have done an excellent job of research all the way around and there's an impressive bibliography in back, should you wish to explore further.

What I like here is the way he presented the information without -- for the most part -- imposing his own judgment on the individuals or the events. The reader gets to do that. What you will find are fleshed-out historical figures that are neither all good or all bad -- just a complex mixture of both, as is usually true of all of us.

The overriding event is the expansion of the United States from "sea to shining sea" and, within that framework, we have the Mexican War, the Civil War, a taste of the Indian wars in the southwest, the end of the mountain man era and the destruction of one way of life as another overwhelmed everything.

The focus is on Kit Carson, who emerges as someone quite different than he had been previously painted. He really was a legend in his own time, thanks to the wildly exaggerated fictions published in the 25-cent pulp paperbacks in the "blood and thunder" genre that was the forerunner of our western novel -- and the source of this book's title. He became, without his consent or approval, one of our first action-heroes. Heck of a note for the Army's only illiterate general, a position he held toward the end of his incredible life.

In spite of his unassuming appearance and soft-spoken manner, Carson was very good at what he did and not a man to be trifled with. He was both a loving family man with strong moral values -- and a stone killer when he felt he needed to be. It is indicative of Sides' skill that he is able to show Carson in the context of his time and render his character so clearly, one can easily understand the logic of this apparent dichotomy.

Sides also brings the Navajo culture into wonderful focus, for it is this particular Indian tribe that has our attention throughout the book. From their beginnings, to their tragic Long Walk and back to their home land, the reader can identify with these people -- not as the mythic "noble savage" but as authentic "warts and all" folks who happened to see the world differently than the "warts and all" folk who wanted to control them. In the course of this saga, Sides describes the dramatic landscape of New Mexico so clearly, you can almost feel the grit of the towering sandstone canyons and thrill at the sight of the ancient Anasazi ruins.

What might be the best thing about Hampton Sides' book is the way he shows, without preaching, the tragedy that occurs when cultures clash because they really don't "get it" about each other. Lot of that going on in the world today. Seems like some things never change.

Blackjacks and Literary Cuisine

Impersonators don't seem to be as popular as they once were. That's too bad. The talented likes of Rich Little or the late Frank Gorshin could unerringly home in on a given celebrity with such accuracy, they often sounded more authentic than the person they were impersonating. There is, however, another kind of impersonation that yields an equal value in entertainment and that is the literary pastiche.

To be sure we're on the same page, I offer one of Wikipedia's two definitions of pastiche: "In this usage, the term denotes a literary technique employing a generally light-hearted tongue-in-cheek imitation of another's style; although jocular, it is usually respectful (as opposed to parody, which is not)." This definition perfectly fits what happens with Mark Crick's most excellent offering, "Kafka's Soup" subtitled: "A Complete History of World Literature in 14 Recipes."

Yes, the book Bonnie ordered for me finally arrived today. And what a treasure it is. Crick has produced a small but rich volume that pays homage to writers from Homer to Raymond Chandler and if there is a false note struck anywhere, I cannot detect it. As an added bonus, the recipes look to be perfectly wonderful all by themselves.

Crick begins with the hilarious Chandler shtick centered on Lamb with Dill Sauce. "It was time to deal with the butter and flour so I mixed them together into a paste and added it to the stock. There wasn't a whisk, so using my blackjack I beat out any lumps until the paste was smooth." Almost makes me sorry I come equipped with three different whisks and not a blackjack in sight.

Speaking in the articulate phrasing of the Marquis de Sade, Crick manages to make fun of politically correct cuisine with its "naive trust in low-fat yogurt" and celebrates the sensuality of food with a story about an innocent maiden forced to observe a hypocritical judge as he lecherously prepares Boned Stuffed Poussins. Makes you quiver, it does.

The Harold Pinter playlet titled "Cheese on Toast" features ciabatta and eggplant and mozzarella and, I swear it, you can taste the results before you've finished reading. My tummy growls in frustration for I have none of the aforementioned ingredients on hand.

So far, my favorite is the gem in the voice of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, titled "Coq au Vin." There is a priest tormented by mosquitoes and a mulatta cook who prepares a last meal for a murderer, Fidel Agosto Santiago, and the meal is the tough carcass of the fabled fighting cock, El Jaguaracito, donated by its owner, the Syrian. It's all there -- drama, rich characterization and food so wonderful it will make you weep.

I love to read and I love to cook. It's hard to imagine a single book that combines those two pleasures more perfectly than this one does. Bonnie, thank you, again. This book will hold a place of pride and joy in my cookbook collection. Now -- I wonder if I can find a blackjack on eBay?

Domino Day

Here is how one thing leads to another. We start with a sky the gray of a hobo's underwear and a mild wind that whistles around the windows and eaves like a cheerful asthmatic. Enough to get me to contemplating a fresh loaf of bread, with the comforting aroma and psychological warmth to ward off the wind's woo-woos. In spite of all my captive bread recipes, I can't resist mounting the Google pony and riding it along the Information Highways and Byways in search of new specimens for my collection. It works like one of those complicated domino arrangements, with each piece knocking over the next. Click, click, click ...

I do remember checking out some recipes for Monks Bread before finding myself suddenly and surprisingly led to John Baker's blog and finding -- what's this? -- a recipe for Cottage Bread! (And it does look mighty tempting, thank you, John.) But here's where John placed another domino by puzzling over what might have been Virginia Woolf's version of this unique loaf. That speculation was enough to set me on the hunt myself.

Next thing I knew, I was exploring what turns out to be a more well-traveled road than I had previously imagined -- the mating of famous folk, in general, and famous authors, in particular, and their favorite foods (or beverages). One of the first treasures I found was this article by Tom Nugent, wherein he does wonderful pastiches of four writers and presents recipes they might have left us, had they been so inclined.

That was just the beginning. One domino after another hove into view and toppled the next, and the next, and the next one after that. I must now concentrate on winning lottery money so I can afford to buy these delicious books. For instance, Diane E. Holloway edited a gem with the unwieldy title of: Authors' Famous Recipes and Reflections on Food. She gathered over 200 recipes from well-known authors, along with quotes and factoids. Rex Stout, Charles Dickens, Hemingway. Dumas shows up with, believe it or not, potato salad while Vincent Price offers Chicken in Champagne Sauce. I have one eyebrow raised at Sir Walter Scott's Cauliflower and Whiskey recipe and the other at Alice B. Toklas' Brownies and Gazpacho.

Then we have Mark Crick, called a "literary ventriloquist," who wrote and illustrated another pastiche called Kafka's Soup: A Complete History of World Literature in 14 Recipes. He does the same sort of thing Tom Nugent did in the above-mentioned article -- and I really, really want a copy, dammit.

The fun doesn't end there. Oh no. Poisoned Pen Press got me with a double-whammy: two cookbooks, each with 150 recipes donated by mystery writers and edited by Jo Grossman and Robert Weibezahl. The first is A Taste of Murder and the second, logically enough, is A Second Helping of Murder. Included, I'm promised, is Kinsey Milhone's infamous peanut butter and pickle sandwich.

So here I sit, at the shank-end of the day. Haven't got any bread made. Or anything else. But dayum! It's been a fun ride! Now, if you'll excuse me -- I'm going to make a peanut butter and pickle sandwich. Really.