Begin With a Pile of Cheese ...

Seems to me some of the most magical things can happen whenever you find yourself in possession of a big pile of shredded cheese. Take the above splendiferous mound of cheddar, freshly grated on the smallest of the three shred choices on my grater. That was my beginning salvo in the quest for one or more tasty cheese spreads fit for Christmas giving. What I was looking for was something that could be slathered on toast or French bread and broiled until hot and bubbly -- and then devoured with moans of delight. I'm big on moans of delight.

After an awful lot of time spent in the company of trusty Google, I narrowed the search down to two candidates -- a zesty beer cheddar and a more subtle rum cheddar. Both recipes meet my F.E.D. requirements (fast, easy, delicious) and both are so good I can't pick a clear winner. So be it. You know what they say -- two cheese spreads are better than one. Or something like that.

Before I lay out the actual recipes, a couple of tips may be helpful. You can run these through the blender if you wish but it really isn't necessary. Vigorous beating with a spoon does the job quite nicely and a bowl is easier to clean than a blender. It also helps if everything is room temperature and it's even better if you fine-grate the cheese. Also -- very important -- these recipes are highly flexible. Amounts are subject to personal taste and substitutions or additions are limited only by your creativity or current supplies. For example, instead of beer, I used ale -- because that's what I had on hand. I'm sure that garnered me a more robust flavor than beer would have done. For that matter, you can even use a different kind of cheese -- or a mixture of cheeses. It's your call. Isn't that fun?

BEER CHEDDAR SPREAD
3 cups finely shredded cheddar cheese
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 clove garlic, minced
1 teaspoon hot sauce of choice
1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper
2 ounces beer or ale

Beat vigorously with spoon until well mixed. Cover and refrigerate for several hours for flavors to blend. Keeps several weeks in refrigerator.

RUM CHEDDAR SPREAD
1 cup finely shredded cheddar cheese
1/4 cup (2 ounces) softened butter
1 green onion, chopped
1 teaspoon dry mustard
freshly ground pepper, to taste
1 tablespoon rum

Beat vigorously with spoon until well mixed. Cover and refrigerate for several hours for flavors to blend. Keeps several weeks in refrigerator.

Okey-dokey, that's the basic stuff. You can fiddle with amounts to suit yourself or you can fling all kinds of other stuff into the pot. I didn't have any green onions on hand for the rum cheddar but a tablespoon of dried onion flakes worked just fine. I also seasoned the batch with some Mrs. Dash chipotle seasoning. Loves me that hot stuff. Oh ... and the rum was Captain Morgan Spiced Rum. Worked just fine.

So I whupped up a batch of each, put them in small covered containers, popped 'em in the fridge -- and tried to make myself forget about them long enough for the magic of flavor fusion to occur. When I finally allowed myself to haul out the two spreads for their debut on a couple of slices of bread, one thing became clear immediately -- the rum cheddar, with it's butter content, needs to come to room temperature to be easily spreadable. The beer cheddar is a looser mix and spreads without a problem even when cold. The second thing that became clear was that the flavors of both definitely improved with "ripening" time -- especially the one with the ale. If that trend continues, they'll be so good tomorrow, I'll probably pass out with ecstasy.

And there you have it, fresh out from under the broiler. The sample on the left is the rum cheddar and on the right, the ale version. Besides using the spreads this way, I can imagine plopping a heaping spoonful in the middle of a baked potato or into a bowl of steamed veggies. Or you could mix in some sour cream and salad shrimp for a totally cool chip dip.

See what comes of a simple pile of cheese?

Cheese For Your Inner Mouse

Oh, Coffee Mates. Have I got something fantastic for you! No, those are not Snickerdoodles in the above photo. The resemblance is only superficial, I assure you. For one thing, these little guys are only about an inch across. That's a Very Good Thang because, I guarandurnedtee you, there is posilutely, absotively no way on God's green earth that you can only eat one. The physical dimension might be dainty but the flavor dimension is huge.

They're called Cheese Puffs but, unlike most recipes of that name, they are not the cream puff-style puff. These are more like a shortbread cookie, all buttery and tender-crunchy and overflowing with the most marvelous cheese flavor you can imagine. Mind you, this batch was made with regular cheddar cheese. Had I used sharp cheddar, the flavor excellence would have probably put me into a state of blissful shock.

The extra added attraction of the recipe is that it calls for minimum ingredients, minimum time involved and minimum effort. Here am how it goes ...


CRUNCHY CHEESE PUFFS

1 cup shredded cheese
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/4 cup butter, softened
1 teaspoon dry mustard
Set your oven at 400 degrees fairyheight. Grate your cheese. In a medium bowl, mix flour, mustard and butter, working the butter in until you have pea-sized lumps. Add the cheese and continue working the mixture until the dough comes together and starts cleaning the sides of the bowl.

Using a teaspoon, scoop out dabs of dough, roll into balls somewhere between hazel nut and walnut size, then place on cookie sheet about 1 inch apart. You should get 2-dozen of the little rascals. Slip the pan in the oven with the rack in the middle position. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until golden brown.

That's really all there is to it but let me add a couple of points.

I have a grater that gives me three different sizes of grate: macho, medium and mini. I can't say for sure that it makes any real difference but using the mini, or fine, grate -- and with the cheese at room temperature -- the mixing seemed to go much easier than it might have otherwise.

This is one of those basic recipes that lends itself to lots of variations. For this batch, I added a sprinkle of cayenne pepper, which gave just enough heat to leave a comfortably warm sensation in my mouth after I swallowed the last bite. I could have added any number of other seasonings, like onion powder or garlic powder or any of the Mrs. Dash salt-free mixtures. (Notice there is no salt in the recipe, other than what's in the butter and cheese.) For that matter, very finely minced chili pepper or onion or garlic would have probably gone well.

Just for laughs and giggles, the next batch I make I think I'll flatten with a fork and maybe bake only 10 or 12 minutes. No particular reason except perhaps that form would lend itself more efficiently to the task of scooping up some nummy dip.

Like my Inner Mouse really needs more snacking calories.