Sunday, December 9, 2007

Blonde-sided


SOME DAYS FEEL MORE BLONDE THAN OTHERS.

In my bartending days, there was a golden-tressed customer who cheerfully informed me she considered me to be a Blonde-in-Training. In spite of the fact that most of the blonde women I know are relentlessly intelligent, I find myself often admitting to experiencing a Blonde Moment or to actually being a blonde at heart.

Now, even my spell checker is having a blonde moment, arguing with me about the spelling of the word. According to assorted grammar sources, one uses blond in reference to males, mixed gender or uncertain gender but one uses blonde for females. It is conceded that blond for either gender is a modern trend but blonde is still the preference for females. So get out of my face, Spell Check. I'm doing it correctly.

A passing thought, brought on by all the above -- why do we never hear blond jokes about men? Maybe because we already beat up on the guys with blond-type jokes anyway and to make them blond on top of being male is over-kill? Just a thought, and a politically incorrect one at that. But then, I get irritated with PC-ness sometimes. The state of political correctness is too often funny while totally lacking a sense of humor within itself.

All of this is the long way around to tell you Mage was correct (see yesterday's comments) in shaking her head at me for substituting flour for almond meal in the Clementine Torte recipe. The flavor of the resulting cake is good. The texture sucks. I will not be making a correction because (a) I am still not a fan of almonds and, (b) don't feel like wasting more eggs and Satsumas trying to figure out a better balance of ingredients. I'll simply chalk it up to Lessons Learned By Blondness and let it go at that.

Let me go on record here as vowing that I love my blonde friends -- and my blond friends -- and I love my male friends. Jokes applied to the general condition of blondness or maleness should never be taken personally and can, at all times, be turned back on me without hesitation. Fair is fair, intent is the key and humor is both life-affirming and life-saving.

I am trying to keep that in mind as I survey the sad condition of my football picks this weekend. I'm pretty sure some of them reflect a definite blonde influence (What WAS I thinking?) and others a certain blond behavior, as applied to the guys in tight pants (That was a stupid play call!) down on the playing field. "Hah hah," I try to console myself. "Laugh, fool, laugh. You'll feel better."

Yes. I will. And look at all that Clementine Torte I have to munch on during the games!





7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wil is so ticked about the steelers he tried to rain on my light parade tonight.

btw you can see a couple of the shots http://www.flickr.com/photos/bonnieb/ though the wind was doing its best to mess me up.

Dee said...

I have to sympathize with Wil. Although I won a dollar off my grandson, who is a Steelers fan, I still lost in my contest because I love Big Ben and hate the Pats. (smile)

Those photos are terrific, Bonnie! Night shots are hard and you're getting really spiffy with that camera.

Anonymous said...

I like the idea of being a blonde/blond in training, Dee. I think I shall engage on a course straight away... :-)

John Bailey aka OGP.

Dee said...

John, just stick with me, kid. I'll teach you everything I know. (wicked grin)Lord knows, it's an excuse that covers a multitude of sins.

Bex said...

I grew up a blonde and always yearned for chestnut coloured hair. Yesterday I got a glimpse of something truly terrifying... Campbell Brown on the news with almost a complete head of blond hair... when did that happen? and Why? She had the most gorgeous brown hair in all of TV before, now she's just another "come-and-get-me-bleached blonde" - like everyone else on tv. sad.

Mage And George said...

Ah, two games ago, the office staff called me blonde. If I touched it, it fell apart. If I lifted it, I dropped it. LOL

You can make a simple flour torte pastry under the orange goodies tho. One of those flat but flakey Germanic things. :)

Dee said...

Bex, it may be true that we always yearn for what we don't have. Blue-eyed folks want brown eyes. Brunettes want to be blonde. Etc. At least with the hair, one can have a temporary try with the fantasy and then go back to the original.

Mage, would there be a recipe that goes along with the flour torte pastry suggestion? [hint, hint, grin]