The Art of Stalling

Before we go a single step further, please let me assure you -- wishing seasonal pleasures and perks to Coffee Mates is never -- NEVER -- any trouble. Heck, that's half the fun of the holidays. Still, the above cartoon can't help but strike a responsive chord when we find ourselves doing that insane high wire act that takes us over the chasms of the most holiday-intensive time of the year. So thanks, Shirley, for sending it. I might not put it on my -- oh!

Will you look at that? It should be spelled "fridge." F-R-I-G would be pronounced with the hard "g" as in friggin'. Now that would work. When you're feeling really hassled, look for this cartoon on the friggin' fridge. Yeah.

I might be just a bit distracted tonight. I keep listening to the whistle and whine of the wind (it's moaning in gentle decibels rather than at a more belligerent volume) and musing about the curious wording of the AccuWeather forecast for tonight. They informed me: "Mainly cloudy and breezy with periods of rain ending, then a leftover shower."

Leftover shower? I have this mental picture of a lonely little rain cloud looking on sadly as the customers depart, arms laden with carefully wrapped packages full of showers. Don't despair, little rain cloud. Shower shoppers will be out again to score leftover showers at a bargain price during the January wet sales.

I also keep checking in at the ESPN web site to see how the Monday Night Football game is going. Don't have the radio feed going because I can't listen to common 'taters and write at the same time. And that's what I'm mainly doing tonight -- writing that NaNoWriMo stuff. I keep trying to take the late journalist Gene Fowler's advice: "Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead."

One of my favorite writing quotes is from Moliere, who said, "Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money." And Mark Twain suggested, "Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."

Heh! See what I'm doing? Practically the easiest way to distract me from writing is to turn me loose to read quotes about writing. Which is what I've been doing. It's difficult to see it on the monitor but there was a loooong gap between the Moliere quote and the Twain quote, spent browsing web sites full of more of same.

I just checked in on the football game. Good grief, Gertie! I think the Dolphins and the Steelers are doing the same thing I've been doing -- stalling. They're almost through the fourth quarter and there's still no score! None. Not a single point. 1943 was the last time there was a zero-zero tie in the NFL. What have they been doing down there on the field? Oh dear. We've just come back from the final two-minute warning and the Steelers are in the red zone.

OhMAN ... at last. The Steelers put up a three-point field goal with only 17 seconds left in the game. As the man in the booth said, "It was ugly but it was a win." I'm sure there is a minor profundity in that statement.

Me? I no longer have any excuses for stalling. Game's over. Coffee's hot. Gotta get to work. Type, type, type like a busy little monkey. Yes. Well, I'll have a cup of coffee first and then ...