Crime Prevention

What you see here are cookies, of course. On the back of the Baker's Semi-Sweet baking chocolate box, the recipe is labeled "Chocolate Chocolate Chunk Cookies." They are, I assure you, so completely decadent, depraved and delicious that they could topple empires, cure fourteen different diseases and prevent crime. I don't know what more you could ask from a cookie.

Yes, they will prevent crime. I was ready to put out a hit on Mike Shanahan, coach of the Denver Broncos, for his despicable time-out call a nano-second before See-Bass kicked what would have been the winning field goal in this afternoon's hugely exciting game. As a consequence, the kick was negated, the next try barely missed and the Broncos went on to win in overtime.

Okay. There is a long tradition of "icing" the kicker by calling a timeout just before they get ready to do their thing. The theory is, the longer they have to wait, the more nervous they will be and, possibly, the more likely to miss. But you rarely see the timeout called almost simultaneously with the kick. It just seems -- well -- mean-spirited, you know?

Granted, it might have backfired. It might have been that Janikowski missed the first one and made the second one. Boy, that would have been sweet. Alas, it was not to be and we lost a real heartbreaker. And I was ready to start Googling for hit men. Fortunately for Mr. Shanahan (not to mention me and my own karma), my cookies were done and ever so capable of soothing my bruised feelings and cooling my rage. Just in case you, too, need something to lift your spirit and save you from yourself, here is the recipe.

BAKER'S CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHUNK COOKIES

You'll need two 8-ounce boxes of semi-sweet choccy. I only had one but I also had a pounder-plus of Trader Joe's dark choccy so I used half of it. Anyway, take half of your chocolate and coarsely chop it and set it aside. Take the other half and melt it in the microwave (2 minutes on high should do it), stirring to smooth it out.

Now add 3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar, 1/4 cup (half a stick) butter, 2 eggs and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Beat it really good with a wooden spoon. Add 1/2 cup flour and 1/4 teaspoon baking powder. (I really didn't believe that was enough so I made it 1/2 teaspoon.) When that's all mixed in good, add your chopped choccy and 2 cups coarsely chopped walnuts. I think I only had 1 cup of nuts but it seemed to be enough. I toasted them before chopping them up because I think they taste better that way.

Pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees fairyheight and take a couple of soup spoons to drop dabs of dough on ungreased cookie sheets. The recipe suggests 1/4 cup per cookie and says your yield will be 18. I got 20. Your mileage may vary. Bake the cookies for 14 minutes. When you remove them from the oven, let them sit for a minute, then transfer them to wire racks to cool completely.

I know. I was going to explain about my cabbage marathon today but that will have to wait until tomorrow. I consider this choccy recipe to be a mission of mercy -- just in case you feel like hunting down a hit man your own self.