Pickled Plumb Pink

Oh, that's gorgeous, that is. And fast. And easy. And, if I have sufficiently sacrificed to the pickle gods, in about a week I will be enjoying the taste of those pickled eggs. And the beets. Just for the record, there are sliced beets in there, too.

Got this recipe from a fun web site owned by a nice fella named Drew Kime. He calls his place How to Cook Like Your Grandmother. This assumes one had (or has) grandmothers who were excellent cooks. (I'm raising my hand in the affirmative.) If you click on that link, you'll see photos of his pickled eggs after a mere week in the magic brine. There is also a link between the photos that will take you to the post with the recipe and several photos of the step-by-step he did last week.

His recipe is very simple: 1 cup each of vinegar, sugar and beet juice, heated until the sugar is dissolved and poured over 1 dozen hard boiled eggs, then stored in the refrigerator. Needless to say, I've tinkered with it just a teensy bit. I'll explain . . .

For one thing, he used plain beet juice but I had a can of pickled beets. The pickling liquid was already a bit sweet so I only added 1/4 cup of sugar to my broth. That seemed to be just right. I also played around a bit with the vinegar, using 2/3 cup of apple cider vinegar and 1/3 cup balsamic vinegar. Tasty!

Then there was the matter of heat. I do love the spicy stuff, you know. I put in one of the Knorr brand mini-cubes which is supposed to equal one chipotle pepper. Just to top it off, I also gave a healthy sprinkle of Mrs. Dash chipotle seasoning. Took a sip. Oh yes. Very fine. Most excellento.

The eggs. Went to the market today and picked up 2 dozen eggs, figuring on using one dozen for this project. Now, you know -- you KNOW -- you never ever want to use really fresh eggs for hard boiling. Not if you want to peel them smooth and unmarred. So I loaded a dozen of the little beasties in the pan and poured the cold water over them. Oh shucky-darn. They all lay flat on the bottom like they were glued there. Totally fresh. Not even a hint of age.

I grumbled a bit and returned the eggs to their carton and pulled out the next dozen. They didn't seem to be all that much older but at least they stood up on their pointy ends and some of them even made token efforts to levitate just a bit. Okay. I probably should have waited at least a couple of days but I wanted to do this pickling thing TODAY. (Please, Lord, grant me patience and do it right now!)

It worked out pretty good. Only two out of the twelve ended up with chunky gouges in their hides. I'll just eat them first. In fact, those will be the ones I eat before the week is up and the fact that they're not perfectly smooth will keep me from feeling guilty about jumping the gun. I'll just claim to be tidying up the neighborhood.

What I'm anxious about is penetration. I've done pickled eggs before, once or twice, and the color didn't go in very far. I notice Drew's eggs absorbed the color (therefore the flavor) right up to the yolks. In cruising around reading through assorted recipes, the consensus seems to favor pouring hot pickling brine over the eggs to achieve maximum penetration. Makes sense to me but an awful lot of the recipes call for cold brine. We'll see. This time next week, I'll slice one of those bad boys open and then we'll know. Will the pink penetrate partly or will it penetrate profusely?

Oy, the suspense! The thrill of it! Reminds me of the old Saturday matinee cliff-hangers. Maybe I'd better check the popcorn supply.

Definition of Exciting

Well, it's getting close to time for the annual September visit from brother Merle and SIL Linda. He and I were talking on the old fashioned telephone (insert smile) the other day and he said I should be thinking about something exciting for us to do when they get here. "Okay," I said. "I'll be thinking on it."

So I thunk and thunk and, by golly, just this afternoon it came to me. Trumpets tootled and lights flashed and bells rang and I think there was even a bit of ahoogah horn in there. Which is to say, my idea is absolutely smashing and has the potential for extreme excitement.

I am going to introduce them to the mighty Tim Tam Slam!

Now, you've heard me rattle on about Tim Tams before. You know I believe Tim Tams are possibly the greatest export Australia has ever -- uhmm -- exported. I saw them referred to on one web site as "a chocolate religion" and that's not far wrong. All by themselves they're good enough to make angels sing and shout. But when they're used in that magical Australian rite called the Tim Tam Slam -- well, that's when they become positively orgasmic.

I am not making this up.

It's not always easy to find a stateside source of Tim Tams and even when you do, they don't always have the particular flavor in stock that you want. I, for instance, adore the dark choccy version but my supplier is out at the moment. I was able to score a couple of the originals and a couple of the double-choccy versions, though. They should go out in the mail tomorrow, which means they'll arrive here in plenty of time.

It's a bit worrisome, though. They're coming from Texas. This is summertime. It is HOT. I sure hope they're not all melted together when they arrive. Not that such an event would prevent me from enjoying their Down Under deliciousness. It's just that it's a lot easier to suck a hot beverage through a single bikkie than a clump of them, don'cha know?

Dear Family, if you are reading this and you find yourself questioning my definition of exciting, I refer you to the embedded YouTube video at the bottom of this post. There are lots of videos of people demonstrating the Tim Tam Slam but this one is my absolute favorite, featuring Graham Norton and Natalie Imbruglia. When you see Graham's reaction, you'll understand why.

There's just one thing -- at the very end of the video Natalie says something that I just KNOW is funny and -- judging from Graham's reaction -- probably risque but I'll be darned if I can figure out what it is. I have played that darned video over and over and the line remains a mystery. Coffee Mates, can you help me out, here? Do any of you understand what she says? If you can solve that puzzle for me, I would be so -- so -- excited.