Scientific Testing

by Gozor



Recently we decided to conduct a new series of tests in the chem lab as related to the theory that freshly cut flowers live longer with certain additives in the water, the primary ingredient being aspirin. The testing was conducted using glass flasks, roses, Ozarka bottled water, Bayer brand aspirin, Tylenol Acetaminophin, and Ibuprophen. Each of four flasks were filled with eight ounces of Ozarka natural spring water, then three of them had the addition of the pain relievers. The resulting flower conditions were as follows:

Day 1:

Water   fresh
Tylenol    fresh
Aspirin    fresh
Ibuprophen    fresh

Day 2:

Water   slightly brown edges on petals
Tylenol   leaves becoming slightly curved
Aspirin   fresh
Ibuprophen   leaves becoming slightly curved

Day 3:

Water   petals browning, leaves curled
Tylenol   leaves curled, petals brown at edges
Aspirin   fresh
Ibuprophen   leaves curled, petals turning brown

Day 4:

Water   petals black, leaves browning
Tylenol   leaves brown and curled, petals brown
Aspirin   fresh
Ibuprophen   leaves black and curled, petals black

The tests were run again three more times with a slight variation in the number of milligrams of pain reliever added each time. Each time the results were identical. From this we developed two new theories:

  1. Flowers die from headaches.
  2. Bayer aspirin is the best cure for a flower's headache.


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