I am a strong woman. Not physically strong, but emotionally strong. Spiritually strong. It's one of the first things people notice about me. But that strength did not come easily, I can assure you. I paid a mighty high price for it. I continue to pay every day that I live, reclaiming it over and over.

Am I perceived as a bitch? I don't think so. I could be wrong, of course. There is at least one person out there in the world who perceives me as Evil Incarnate, so anything is possible. But I don't believe the majority of the people see me as such.

They do see me as a leaning post, however. Someone to come to when their burdens are just a little too heavy. Someone who has "the answers." And most erroneously of all, someone who doesn't need support in return.

How do you become a strong woman? You suffer. You suffer and you survive it. That's a large part of what life is about. In the process, you discover you can carry a greater load than you ever imagined.

First, you get down there and roll around in self-pity for a while. Wallow in it real good. Get it all over you: in your hair, your mouth, your eyes, swathed under your armpits, dripping off your torso. Get down there and become one with your self-pity and your sorrow. And then put them behind you. Shake 'em off. Pull yourself up, wash yourself clean, and get on with your life. The pain will go away one day. It's up to you to keep going through the motions of living until it does.

"Going through the motions" is the part where the suffering comes in. You get up every morning even though you don't want to face another day and you do it anyway. Get in the shower and let the healing warmth of the water reaffirm you. Paint your face and curl your hair as if your heart was in it. Stick a big smile on your face and use it on everybody you meet. Remember, you may be a mess on the inside but your outside looks just fine. No one will ever know your heart is breaking.

Strength comes from suffering. So when you see that strong woman, when you run across her, know this: she endures. Call her what you will.